Lulus sudah selesai, lalu apa selanjutnya?

Tak terasa sudah selesai tugasku sebagai mahasiswi di salah satu universitas yang keren. bahkan tak terbayang aku akan selesai melakukan tugas skripsi yang biasa pada waktu kecil aku menonton FTV-FTV di SCTV, RCTI dan itu masih ada sampai sekarang ceritanya. hahahaha. setelah selesai dan di umumin LULUS langsung selseikan REVISI dan balik ke asal dengan bahagia selama 1 bulan.

Disana akupun belajar banyak hal dan membantu keluarga. Aku pun mempelajari bisnis yang di pontang panting demi sesuap nasi dan development bisnis. Disitu akhirnya aku juga memputuskan untuk berkerja bersama teman saya untuk membuat website yang professional untuk bisnis tersebut. Yang paling penting sekarang gimana caranya aku bisa bantu mereka. dan aku pun minta di jakarta untuk bisa melanjutkan bisnis di Jakarta yang dimana bisa meraup uang banyak kalau aku perhatikan. Dengan prinsip jawa yang saya bawa,"alon-alon asal kelakon" dimana artinya "pelan-pelan tapi terjalani".

Namun itu, tentu harus ada proses untuk dilakukan. Banyak proses dan upgrade untuk bisnis di Jakarta ini. Faktor juga banyak yang harus di pertimbangkan di karenakan tempatnya yang sangat terpojok dan untungnya semakin saya pegang semakin berkembang dan terus terupgrade. Saya bangga banyak terproses sesuai keinginan saya, dan saya senang dengan karyawan baru saya membantu saya untuk bisnis saya kali ini. Dia tanpa pamrih membantu saya selama ini. Saya terpikirkan dengan doa yang saya inginkan terkabul sekali. Apa yang kita doakan pasti terkabulkan, jika kita melakukannya dengan sungguh sungguh.

Namun, saya terpikirkan apakah saya bisa untuk mencapai mandiri yang dimana saya ingin lepas finansial saya dari orang tua saya. Saya berusaha mengurangi untuk tidak meminta dengan orang tua saya, tapi kadang tidak memungkinkan karena saya juga butuh tambahan financial saya untuk kebutuhan saya dimana bisnis sedang merintis untuk menuju puncak. Saya hanya mengharapkan saya tidak membebani orang tua saya dan saya memutuskan dengan melakukan berdikari. Setidaknya saya juga bahagia bisa kemana-mana dengan begitu saya bisa melakukan banyak hal. Jika memang ada hal yang terbebani oleh orang tua saya. Harapan saya sekarang ingin bisa menebus semuanya, dan biarkanlah orang tua saya merasa bebas dan tanpa beban di masa tuanya sekarang. Tetapi, kembali lagi, semuanya butuh proses dan waktu.....

Nena...

Nena nena oh nena... berikanlah kekuatan yang kekal untukmu bertahan...

Aku tak sanggup melihatmu bersedih terus menerus...

Lihatlah diantara sekelilingmu yang indah dan cantik ini..

Apakah kau tak melihat seberapa indahnya dirimu juga?

Apa yang kau inginkan darinya sehingga kau berpaling darinya?

Kau beri sebuah benih hati yang sangat terdalam... namun dia hanya memberimu sebuah berita yang membuatku menangis..

Nena nena oh nena... tiadakah kau lihat sekelilingmu ikut bersedih dan berpaling kepadamu untuk berita yang kau dapatkan...

tiada raja dan ratu yang bisa membantu hanya hatimu dan jati dirimu lah yang bisa memperkuat dan menyertasatukan kegelapan ini menjadi kebahagiaan yang natural...

perlukah sebuah anjing dan kelinci mengajarimu agar kau bisa menjadi sebuah manusia yang bisa mengerti dan mengetahui di dalam benih hatinya yang terdalam...

Nena... aku hanya kasihan kepadamu... andai bisa membantu akupun akan membantu... tapi apa yang bisa ku perbuat toh perbuatanku dan perkataanku selalu menjadi gelap di hati sang pangeran...

aku adalah gadis kecil yang buta, bodoh dan keras kepala.. apalah kekuatanku ini bisa membantumu..

Nena nena oh nena.. kau harus sanggup menghadapi cobaan ini.. ini adalah cobaan untuk menembus kehidupanmu yang lebih baik... orang dekat di sekelilingmu yang sangat baik bahkan memberimu bercukupan yang jauh lebih baik daripada aku yang buta.

ketika kau menceritakan soal pangeran yang telah menyakitimu..
akupun hanya bisa merasakan kepedihanmu dan orang orang di sekelilingmu menangis dan kecemasan di benak hati yang terdalam... dan ia pun tak bisa mengucap suatu kata yang dia ingin sampaikan...

Di dalam hati sang gadis, ia hanya bisa berharap dan bersih kukuh jika nena akan bisa melampaui semua cobaan ini...

The Last Week of My Class

So, This week is my last week to attend the classes during my semester 1 in UPH. It was fascinating and overwhelming with the assignment. But I get a lot lot lot of knowledge and a better of understanding except.... for sure, Accounting and English! I don't know but it seems that my english skills is getting decreased each time since I'm in here. My Accounting? definitely, I can't say much word even sentences for that. It was AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA... that is my answer for accounting hahaha.

Anyway, I know I should updated during night before but I prefer to update an article on the night time, I guess my mind is getting better during the midnight. OH MY GOSH! I'm definitely an OWL! hahahaha. Owl always finds food and actively during the night, when it comes to days, they will asleep. hmm.. I guess It's a common thing to see for the lecturer of us sleeping lol. NO! I was just kidding, I would never do that of course! And, I just finished my final response paper consisting my two visit in worship places. And yea! that's one reason I wanted to do it on the midnight too.

So, what should I talked here? I don't really know what to talk but.. let's see.... hmmmm.. Oh right! It looks like I haven't tell you what did I got more knowledge and better understanding on. Well, I know my all PREVIOUS TEACHER would SHOCKED or fainted on this, that now my interesting subject is RELIGION. hahahahaha. They probably thought that, "What on earth, did Cecil just hit by something until she finally like an unexpected subject that she wouldn't probably like?" I know some common thought are also on my mind too! Hence, I don't feel bothered on that common thought. I never expected that I would like this subject in my first semester! feel awkward.. :s

Back to the topic, During my Last attendance of my religion class, There are several student that needs to do a presentation, since I'm done with my presentation, I would just only here and write several things that maybe it was important and can be inputted to my final paper. In the last hour of the class, my lecturer would thank us because it was our last meeting during of our first semester. And, this is the first time for me to feel sad about it, because he really makes the learning into an interesting activity and gives us a chance to gain knowledge and experience in every inch of his learning. One thing that makes me really fun was to use our critical thinking in every each of religion.

Right when he's explained a lot of things, there's one thing that I agreed in his statement:

Religion is Complicated

I totally agree on this because in every religion there are tons of way of teachings that it clash with another religion, he even said it too. This would make us think that not every religion has the same way of thinking.

To conclude, In every journey there would be time that religion will be with us and every time, religion will continue to build as a belief. 

That's all for today, I'd better go to sleep, I have my morning class on management tomorrow :( what a sad thing. last class.. *crying mode on during sleep*

University Life

It's been a long months, I have not update my blog! and guess what!? I am a University student already! no more Senior High Student now!  even what you called SCHOOL.. I'm done with it.. ahahahah. anyway, I have found my life different now, especially when it comes to Social friendship status. (not sure haha)

So, I found so many friends even though from the first day, I was pathetic, get frustrated even STRESSED OUT because I haven't got a friend yet... UNTIL sort of the last day of the ORIENTATION! I finally found who was my friend,but I guess they were not really what I said 'friend'. They're still acquaintance mode for me and they were still outside my bubble. I still got contacted with my lovely friend there in Aussie, even though we're sort of not talking like we were used to be in our High School life. To be honest, She's still my number one friend that I have, because she's my MOTIVATION! Who encourage me to learn harder about english, and I still remembered, She really really way improves me to read and learn english.

On the other hand, I still have to find more friends too in this university! If not, it would be harder for me and this could make me depressed just because of  a social status. Why did I say so ? Because, I think that I'm more to an active person where I need to said that I love being surrounded by people, and observing what they think, it gives me to gain some knowledge of what they know.

So, what next is... my study,  I found a hard time to learn especially accounting and Management. It was pretty horrible and I was panic. Oh right, before that, I'm currently studying at the Economy faculty where one of the Branch was Management. Similarly, this Management was developed by the Joint Degree of UPH and RMIT. So, I guess this is a very hard time to achieve. Back to my story, so, after my panic mode, I found out why I wasn't able to get it properly. Well, the answer is my lecturer! MY FREAKING LECTURER IS F' S.. peep peep peep peep. too much swearing.. sorry. HAHAHA....

yeah, my lecturer just read the presentation, and while the others don't get it, even he was angry people didn't get pay attention to it. Actually, I sort of feel bad to him, but he must changes his way of learning. Especially when it comes to the question that we need to make a presentation. WHY EVEN I SHOULD DO THAT!? where I DO NOT GET ANYTHING WHICH LEADS NO BENEFIT FOR ME IF I LISTEN TO. is that right? I don't thing that makes sense either. hahahaha.

Anyway, I just wanted to share my new life and update my useless blog that no one even come to my blog.

Love twist

I'm in love with somebody again, who is younger than me again, this hearts some time makes me confused.. why should I do? I have no more hope, even if i did something, i will be in that kind of way, till i finally bored with them, and left them without partners.

This could make them get hurts because of my unconsistency feelings. I do have a feeling, when i was in love and keep chasing them around, but as soon this feelings fell apart, my personality changes to an anymous whom that they didn't recognized who I am.

I love this guy right now, not the other one. He's more mature and wise, i like that kind of man. But, as soon when I like this guy, I left em without reasons and never even talked to them oftenly like the last time i chased him.

I felt bad for him, but he's a materialist guy type, he only thinks for himself, i paid for him, i feel like i'm his 2nd mom. It feels that he used me and manipulated me. Similarly, he cannot responsible and control his emotion and he cannot save money. A short information, Saving money is one of the important thing in my list of ideal guy.what's worst is that, he said to me 'CRAZY' when i was talking with my mom suddenly. Oh fucking junior ! I am older than you biatch ! I'm sorry i said this in here, if i said it on the phone call, your brother will be mad. Hahaha... but who cares ?! I do not care about you anymore.

Well, this 2nd guy, he can concerned about money in fact he is few years younger than me, and he is in the same classes with that 'guy'.

Oh shit, help me, i dont want to fell in love right now, i wanted to focus on my duty. 

My journey....

hello ~ it's been so long I didn't end up updating my blog. i'm totally stressed out! I have to find an university for my future studies and my future life of course. Unfortunately, i had a nightmare right now because of my biggest fear! IT FREAKS ME OUT ! so, my first biggest fear is whether my score will be qualified in any university that i choose, i felt so sad if they said no.. and the worse thing is i may get depress of it *my parents inherited that kind of personality to the two kids... how pity i am*. 

this is the tough time of the year... I have to face the national exam, GCE A Level ,drawing lesson so that i can draw the sketch better as i'm a professional interior design and the most important thing is IELTS! I really need to accomplish my english as lightning as possible, and i'm doing it by reading the article in english, watching movies in english which also makes my listening better and better. If i failed, that score will haunt me around my life, and i have to do it again.. what a shame to know that.. and i hope i didn't make my parent a shame of me.. 

okay, that's maybe the first problem, and now the second problem, the score band to go to the university, at least at 6.5 ! WHAT THE FUCK ! HOW I'M GOING TO TAKE THAT AS EASY AS YOU GET A POPCORN ?! urgh tough time right?? then my second biggest fear is i can't go to the university due to the financial problem, all of these things makes me wanna cry so badly.. and well i partially felt the worst horrible past of my life until now i still feel the aura and condition.. and it makes me realize that i have to find the way out and the idea that comes to my mind .... SCHOLARSHIP! when my mind think about that... I'm wondering of myself in the sky, could i achieve a scholarship? since all my parents thinks that i'm stupid and even all of my teachers!

In some ways, i tried to beat my friend achievements, because she's the favourite students in the school for all teachers, and i feel that i'm stupid if i'm around her, even she can be called as the smartest student in the school ! she's the jack of all trade... how about me?? i'm useless, stupid, they think i never study, especially my business teacher, i think she hate me so much.. i don't know why.. but then, when i saw the other side, yea, truthly, she's good, she always get the best score *partially if i don't tell or help her the answers, she'll get a bit low than anyone expected about her* and everyone love her! she's like the celebrity of all guy and dude.. i feel jealous sometime.. :( 

So, then i realize of what so good about being the favourite and so on, i'll better be a good friend of her, it's just totally good already, i know i'm mean, stupid, but i'm not what everyone think ! they judge me wrongly because they don't know me better as much as i know this girl and my other friends... so then.. i'll just want to be focus and do the hard work as i can do the best ! let this go with the flow like a hot lava.. :D i want to prove to all the teachers that i can be a better students than last years! since this is the last year of me being in  the school.... oh god, help me to make everything work !

My beloved dogs

Huaaaa lama tak jumpa, hingga akhirnya liat blogger sangat asing bagiku. Dan tentunya banyak pengalaman-pengalaman menarik perhatianku, tentunya salah satu momen yang tak terduga adalah anjingku sebelumnya, golden retriever yg kita sekeluarga menamainya Zack, sudah harus menemani pasangannya yaitu cassey(Anjing golden retriever juga )di alam lain, setelah aku beranjak di umurku 17 th ini.

Lalu, setelah merasakan kesedihan dan kawan-kawan, aku dikabari dengan seorang teman, dan ia pun langsung bertanya "apakah mau merawat dan mengadopsi anjing shih-tzunya?" Aku pun terkejut dan ini pun jadi kabar gembira bagiku, dan aku pun langsung mendatangi mamaku karena aku tak sabar reaksinya jika mendengar kabar gembira ini !

Setelah aku memberi tahu soal anjing itu, mamaku pun langsung berkata,"ayo ke rumah temanmu, ambil anjingnya sekarang!" dan kami langsung bergegas kesana dan perasaan gembira pun muncul. Kami pun sampai pada tujuan, kami bersalaman dan mengenalkan temanku dengan mamaku, lalu beberapa saat banyak ngobrol, kami memberi tahu apa tujuan kerumahnya dan tanpa basa basi, kami langsung ke tempat kandang sang anjing. Kami sangat senang dan sebelumnya mamaku mengecheck dahulu apakah sang anjing lodokan ? Kalau memang iya, berarti anjingnya sakit. Apakah anjingnya kutuan ? Bisa dirasakan jika di raba2 pada tubuh kandidat yang di pilih, dan biasanya jika ada kutu di badan kandidat, kamu akan merasakan benjolan2..